The Diary
by Newbie83
Summary: 17 year old Arnold comes across one of Helga's diaries from when they were in grade school. The revelations within cause him to wonder how much he really knew Helga, and what his true feelings are.
1. Chapter 1

Arnold sighed as he leaned against the counter, fighting the urge to look at his watch for the fourth time that hour. Sometimes working in "Mardarello's Used Books" was an incredible bore. Not that he wasn't grateful for the job; He needed the money to help pay for college next year, and Mr. Mardarello was a great boss. He let him study when there weren't any customers, and the pay was pretty good too. The only problem was days like today: It was a sunny and warm Saturday afternoon, and there hadn't been a single customer all day. Curiosity got the best of Arnold, and he hopefully looked at his watch again, only to cringe when he saw it was 2:45, ten minutes past the last time he had taken a peek.

"Only two hours and fifteen minutes to go!" He said aloud, trying to encourage himself while also breaking the silence. He picked up his English Literature textbook and contemplated studying the Romantic Period, when the bell above the door jingled. Arnold looked up expectantly, and was greeted by Big Bob Pataki, who was carrying a large, heavy looking box.

"Hey there Arthur, could you give me a hand with this thing?" Big Bob exclaimed, breathing hard and struggling through the door.

"Yeah, of course, Mr. Pataki", Arnold answered, as he ran around the counter and grabbed ahold of one side of the box. Together they made their way to a table that was by the window, and there they set it down. Big Bob breathed a sigh of relief and sat down in a nearby chair. "Whew! I never knew the girl owned so many books!" He exclaimed, shaking his head. "Thanks for the help, Arthur."

"Actually, it's 'Arnold', Mr. Pataki. What can I do for you?" Arnold asked, inwardly rolling his eyes at Bob's inability to remember his name. While he and Helga had never been the best of friends, they had grown up together, and he had been around Bob on numerous occasions. Without missing a beat, Bob stood up and replied, "I'm here to sell these books. Since Helga's off at boarding school, I figured I'd start cleaning out her room so I can make it my office. What do you think I can get for them?"

Arnold looked at the box and then back at Bob. "Sorry Mr. Pataki, but Mr. Mardarello decides what to buy, and he's off today. You can check back on Monday if you'd like."

"So the old geezer's on vacation again, huh?" Bob asked, shaking his head. "Well, you tell him I'll be around at noon on Monday, and I'll expect a quote when I get here. Thanks Arthur." And with that, he was out the door. Arnold shook his head and then turned to open the box. While it was true that Mr. Mardarello decided what the store would buy, Arnold had grown to know the older man's taste, and he could start picking out the books that he knew he would be interested in. Besides, it would give him something to do on this incredibly slow day.

Arnold pulled the tape off of the box and opened the flaps. The first book he came to was a leather bound tome entitled _The Complete Works of Shakespeare_. It was in very good condition, although it was obvious it had been read many times, and Arnold wondered if it was something Helga would really want given away. "None of my business", he thought, as he put the book aside to be the first in the "maybe" pile, and he reached for another book. This one was a paperback version of _Lord of the Flies_, and Arnold smiled when he saw it. Everyone in his sixth grade class had been assigned to read it, after which they acted out scenes for a class project. Arnold was chosen to play Ralph, and Helga was unanimously elected to play Jack, since she possessed such a forceful and take charge personality. They played their roles with gusto, and in the end they received an A+ for their efforts. Sentimentality aside, however, Arnold couldn't see Mr. Mardarello being interested in the book, since they already had two copies on the shelves, so he put it in the "no" pile.

The next fifteen minutes passed quickly, as Arnold sorted the books into two piles. They were a hodgepodge of required reading, personal favorites, and books from childhood. When he had almost reached the bottom of the box, Arnold came across a small hardcover book. It was pink with no writing on the front or spine to indicate what it was, and the pages were well worn. Opening the book to the first page, he saw a poem written in a young girl's scrawl, the purple ink slightly smudged.

_My love, my sultry preteen,_

_Why must I hold you only whilst I dream?_

_Will I be forever enslaved by your spell?_

_Why must I worship you, and never ever tell?_

_You make my girlhood tremble, my senses all go wacky,_

_Someday I'll tell the world, My Love,_

_Or my name's not Helga G. Pataki!_

Raising an eyebrow, Arnold continued to read:

_"I did it AGAIN! Arnold, my love, the golden haired god of my girlish dreams, bumped into me at school today. Instead of being generous or witty, what did I do? I called him 'Football Head' and told him to watch where he was going! Why, oh why can't I just be nice, just once? Why can't I reach out to him and tell him that I've always loved him…"_

With a _SNAP_! Arnold closed the book. "Holy cow, this is Helga's diary!" he thought, feeling slightly panicked and very weird about what he had just read. He knew that he had seen something that he was never meant to see, but he had no idea what to do about it. After the surprise of finding the diary wore off, it finally hit home as to what was written: Helga, at some point when they were in grade school, had been in love with him.

The idea seemed absolutely absurd. When he thought back to the many years they had been in school together, he could hardly remember a time when she had been nice to him, much less acted like she loved him. While it seemed like forever since anyone had called him "Football Head", the name still hurt, and he had her to thank for it. She had been his constant tormentor for six years, until they moved on to middle school and were assigned to different classes. By that time she seemed to mellow, and she started being nicer to everyone. They still saw each other during lunch and over the summer, and while she still had an edge about her, over all she was polite if not distant when they talked. That was preferable to the constant name calling and heckling, but it was a far cry from how he expected a person in love to act.

When Arnold was getting ready to begin high school, he heard that Helga had been accepted to the prestigious Governor's School in Smithville, which was almost an hour away from Hillwood. Since it was too far to commute, Helga's parents decided that she could live in the on campus dorms, effectively removing her from his life completely. He hadn't seen Helga in three years, and the only person he knew of who still had contact with her was Phoebe, her best friend from childhood.

Lost in thought, Arnold didn't notice the bell above the door ring, and therefore almost jumped out of his skin when a hand touched his shoulder.

"Whoa, chill out dude, it's just me!" Gerald exclaimed, laughing at his reaction.

"Hey Gerald, I didn't hear you come in", Arnold gasped, still a little out of breath.

"Well that's obvious. What were you thinking so hard about? You didn't even react when I said your name."

Arnold looked down at the diary in his hand, and he contemplated telling Gerald what he had found. On the one hand, it would seem like a breach of trust to Helga, but on the other he was dying to get another person's opinion about the situation. Gerald had been with both of them through grade school, and he would probably remember if she had done anything that seemed even slightly indicative of a crush. He decided to take a chance.

"Big Bob Pataki came in a few minutes ago so he could sell a box of Helga's books. He must have just thrown every book she owned into the box without looking at them first, because he also included her diary from when we were at PS 118. I didn't know it was a diary at first, but when I read the first page, I saw a poem about being secretly in love with someone, and underneath was an entry about how that person was me! Now I don't know what I should-"

"No way!" Gerald interrupted, grabbing for the diary. "I've got to see this!"

"What? No! Stop it Gerald!" Arnold yelled, dodging away and holding the diary behind his back. "Helga would die if she knew I read this, much less if I let others read it too!"

"Aw man, you're no fun! What's the point of finding a secret love diary about yourself if you aren't going to read it? I say 'Finders, keepers'!" And with that, Gerald snatched the book out of Arnold's hand.

"Hey, come on, give it back!" Arnold said, reaching for the diary that Gerald was now holding above his head. Gerald had grown quite a lot over the past couple of years, and now he stood at a little over six feet tall. With Arnold's height of 5'10, he didn't stand a chance.

Giving him an evil grin, Gerald opened up the diary to the second page and read aloud:

"_Oh Arnold, sweet prince, how I love you!_

_And though I may hide my true feelings,_

_I pray that you may know them, my love!_

_Would that you could see through this vain disguise,_

_And realize that my cruelties are merely a lost, lonely soul's cry for attention!"_

"Whew! She had it BAD for you, man!" Gerald laughed, handing the diary back to a fuming Arnold.

"It's not funny!" Arnold exclaimed, as he walked behind the counter and put the book inside his book bag. "I don't know what I should do! If I give it back to Big Bob he'll probably just throw it away, but if I give it back to Helga, she's going to freak out."

"Why not just keep it?" Gerald asked. "The next time she comes home she'll find out that her dad got rid of it, so either way she won't have it anymore."

"You know I can't do that! It's invasion of privacy. Besides, why would I want Helga's diary, even if it _is_ about me?" Arnold sighed and sat on the stool behind the counter. Suddenly he felt tired, and it wasn't even 3:30.

"Look, I think the only thing you can do is give the diary back to Helga", Gerald replied, looking serious for a change. "You said yourself that this was from elementary, so it's not like it's recent. She may be embarrassed that you read the first page, but what are the odds she still feels this way? She'll probably laugh it off as a childhood crush."

Arnold looked thoughtful for a minute, and then he asked, "But what if she still feels this way? What will I do then?"

"In the HIGHLY unlikely event that she does, you can just tell her you don't feel the same, and let that be that. It's not like you actually have feelings for her, right? Arnold? Right?"

From the look on Arnold's face, Gerald could see that he wasn't quite right in his assessment of the situation. Shaking his head, he pulled up a chair and sat down. They obviously needed a long talk.

**A/N: **Hello dear reader, whoever you are. I'm new to HA! fanfic (so new in fact, I've actually never read any of it), so I wanted to give some information about the universe this story is taking place in. I am writing as if the events in HA! The Movie didn't take place (ie. Helga never confessed her love for Arnold), and that the assumed events of The Jungle Movie never happened.

A note on the poetry: All poetry in this fic is from HA! episodes, because I am NOT a poet, and any attempt I would make at trying to be one would just be embarrassing. All that being said, I hope you enjoy the story, and I thank you for taking the time to read it.


	2. Chapter 2

"Please tell me you don't have feelings for Helga G. Pataki!" Gerald exclaimed, leaning back in his chair. Helga had never been his favorite person, and he didn't understand how anyone else could actually like her. This, of course, was a sticking point for his relationship with Phoebe, whom he had been dating for over a year. In spite of all the times she insisted that Helga was a kind person at heart, he never could bring himself to change his opinion of her. Out of respect for Phoebe he kept his thoughts to himself, but he certainly wasn't going to let his best friend start to like her too.

"No, I don't…I don't know", was Arnold's reply. "I always thought she was nicer than she let on, and we did get along from time to time, but I can't say I've ever seriously considered going out with her. After reading from her diary though, I have to say it puts things in a whole new light." Arnold turned and looked contemplatively out the window.

Rolling his eyes and shaking his head, Gerald asked, "Are you sure you aren't just using this as a way to get over your break up with Lila?"

That gave Arnold pause. Lila. They had started dating toward the end of their freshman year, and at first things went really well. They liked a lot of the same things, and their personalities seemed to complement each other. After a couple of months though, they began to have little arguments and disagreements. Lila wanted Arnold's undivided attention, and he never seemed to spend enough time with her. It got to the point that he started feeling guilty if he ever hung out with his other friends, and he couldn't take it anymore. They broke up and got back together many times over the past couple of years, but two weeks ago they mutually decided it would be best if they were "just friends". Arnold's life was a lot less stressful now, but he still kind of missed her. The idea that he was trying to replace Lila with Helga didn't sit right with him, however, and he finally looked back at Gerald to give his answer.

"No, that's not what I'm doing. Lila and I weren't meant to be, and I'm okay with that. Starting another relationship was the last thing I was thinking about today, until I found this diary. Can't you see how something like that would make you question how you feel?"

Gerald sighed and nodded. He didn't like where this was going, but he could understand, to an extent. "Still though, Helga? Come on man, she made your life miserable! Don't you remember the time she poured glue in your seat and then covered your butt with feathers? Or how about the time she pretended to be blind in order to have you wait on her hand and foot? And let's not forget all of the names she liked to call you, like 'Hair Boy' and 'Football Head'!"

Arnold gave a little grin and replied, "How about the time we kissed while playing Romeo and Juliette?"

Gerald made a face. "That was in fourth grade! It couldn't have been that good." Arnold shrugged and said, "I think the thing that's driving me crazy is the fact that I never knew how she felt. If I would have known, maybe I would have allowed myself to like her more? I never really got to know her since she always seemed to hate me."

"Well, here's your chance. You have the girl's mind poured out on paper; All you have to do is read it", Gerald reminded him.

"I just wouldn't feel right doing that!" Arnold exclaimed, hating how much he was tempted to open his book bag and take out the diary. His hands were literally starting to itch at the thought of holding that little pink book, and even though he spoke of doing the right thing, he knew it was only a matter of time before he caved and read it.

Gerald shrugged his shoulders and stood up. "Look, it's like this: If you are ever going to know if you and Helga could have had something, you are going to have to read that diary. Maybe it's not the ethical thing to do, but it's the only thing that will give you answers. That is, unless you want to spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been?" With that, Gerald turned and started to leave. When he reached the door he looked back and said, "I've got to meet Phoebe at the movies in twenty minutes, so I better get going. Think about what I've said, and let me know what you decide." The little bell jingled as he opened and closed the door.

Arnold sat alone in the silence and stared at his book bag. He thought over the pros and cons of reading the diary, and after almost ten minutes of thinking, he made up his mind: He would read it at home after work.

Now that the decision was made, he felt a little better, but the anticipation was starting to mount up, and he still had a little over an hour before he could close the store. Arnold looked at his literature textbook and once again thought of studying, only to quickly conclude that he wouldn't be able to concentrate on school work right then. That left him with the options of either dusting and straightening the books, or sitting around and thinking about Helga and her declarations of love. Deciding it was probably best to be active and seem busy, he stood up and started tidying up the store. It wasn't a hard job, since no customers had come in that day, but it still gave him something to do for a little while.

After he had finished all of his cleaning, Arnold looked at his watch, only to discover that the time was now 4:19. "Forty one minutes left!" he said, before once again sitting down behind the counter and looking at his book bag. Arnold groaned in frustration and laid his head on the counter top; It was forty one minutes too many.


	3. Chapter 3

Five o'clock finally came, and Arnold quickly moved through the store, making sure everything was in order and ready to go so Mr. Mardarello would be able to open up on Monday. After leaving his boss a note about the books Big Bob brought in, he set the alarm system and locked the door.

The walk home wasn't a long one: The store was located three blocks away from the boarding house, which added to the appeal of the job. Normally Arnold considered it a fast trip, but today it seemed like it took twice as long. The boarding house finally came into view, and he practically ran up the front steps so he could open the door. The usual barrage of animals greeted him, and he almost fell backward in his haste to get inside. When the last dog cleared the entryway, Arnold stepped inside and closed the door.

"Hello Arnold, how was your day?" Suzie asked, setting a vase of flowers on the table in the front hallway. Suzie Kokoshka (although she was thinking of changing her name back to Phillips since her divorce from Oskar was final) was now the co-manager of Sunset Arms, helping Grandpa run the boarding house ever since Grandma passed away a year ago. Although Grandma could never be replaced, everyone agreed that Suzie was a natural at the job, and she had made a lot of improvements over the past few months. Arnold smiled at her as he made his way up the stairs. "My day was fine Ms. Suzie, thanks for asking." Normally he would have stayed to chat, but today he had more pressing matters to think about.

Once he was in his room, he shut the door and sat on the edge of his bed. Quickly unzipping his book bag, he grabbed the diary and proceeded to scan the pages, looking for a date that would tell him the year it was written; apparently Helga was not concerned with keeping track of time, because there wasn't one to be found. Sighing in frustration, Arnold turned to the second page and started reading where Gerald left off:

_"I meant to be nice to Arnold today, I really did! When we were put in the same group to work on our Social Studies project, I had every intention of getting along with him and showing how nice I could be. Why did Lila have to come and ruin everything? Arnold was so busy drooling over her, he didn't even notice me, so I had to do something to get his attention. I accused him of slacking off, which of course started an argument, and we both had to stay after class for talking too loud. Arnold didn't look at me the entire 30 minutes we were there, and when the teacher told us we could leave, he got up and left without saying a word. _

_ Why do I do these things? Why can't I be nice and stop being jealous of the attention he shows Lila? Dr. Bliss says if I showed him the same side I show her, he would like me in an instant, but I just can't do that. Every time we are around each other, I get so scared that he'll know my secret, and I can't stand the thought of him saying he doesn't like me. Criminy, I'm a mess!"_

Arnold thought back to his elementary school days and tried to remember the Social Studies incident. He vaguely remembered getting into an argument and having to stay behind after class, but he couldn't place whether that had happened in the fifth or sixth grade. Arguing with Helga was something he did on a semi-daily basis back then, so one argument tended to blend with another. He finally gave up on trying to place the incident, and moved on to the next entry.

_"I made straight A's again this semester, but do you think Bob or Miriam noticed? NO! Olga decided to come home this week, so of course that's all they can think about! I hate it when she's here, and I wish she would go back to Alaska so I could go back to being ignored part of the time instead of all of the time like I am now."_

"Wow, I knew she didn't like her sister, but I forgot her home life was that bad", Arnold thought to himself. Seeing the past through Helga's eyes was starting to make him understand her a little better, but he was far from knowing how he felt about her. He decided to skip ahead to the middle of the diary, in the hopes that he would come across a more revealing entry, or an event he would clearly remember. He wasn't disappointed.

_"Tonight was probably the best night of my life! Rhonda's parents threw a huge birthday party for her, and everyone in our class was invited. We all met at the skating rink, and we had the place to ourselves since it had been rented for the night (it must be nice to be loaded). After we sang "Happy Birthday" and Princess Rhonda opened all of her presents, we finally got to skate. I was having a great time skating and watching Eugene wipe out every 5 seconds, when the DJ started playing a slow song. Before I knew it, everyone had paired up, and I was the only one skating alone. To cover my embarrassment I loudly declared that the song was lame and started to leave the floor, when I felt a hand on my arm. My heart almost stopped beating when I saw that it was Arnold, and I almost died when he asked if I wanted to skate with him! I muttered something like, 'Yeah, okay, just don't get any ideas', and he took my hand and pulled me around the rink. The slow song wasn't slow enough, because after only a couple of minutes it was over, and Arnold skated back to his friends. _

_ Oh Arnold, if you only knew how much those two minutes meant to me! If only I could tell you how much YOU mean to me! Will I ever have the nerve, my love, to reveal my deepest, darkest secret? What would you say if I did?"_

"That was Rhonda's 12th birthday party!" Arnold exclaimed, excited that he now had a point of reference as far as age went. He remembered that party well, because it was the last time the entire gang would be together. Eugene moved away three weeks later, and the next semester Harold started going to a private school across town. Arnold remembered seeing Helga alone in the middle of the floor, and even though she always bugged him, he couldn't help feeling sorry for her. He had been surprised when she allowed him to hold her hand, and while they skated he remembered thinking she was kind of nice when she wasn't trying to start a fight.

Arnold closed his eyes and lay back on his bed. What _would _he have said if she had told him how she felt? Back then he still had a slight crush on Lila, and he wasn't sure he would have given that up to see where things could go with Helga. However, if she would have started being nice to him and had let him get to know her, he probably would have given her a chance. Arnold sat back up and flipped ahead a few more pages.

_"Soon, my love and I will be separated! Cruel fate has cast us into different classes, and I will only glimpse him in the halls as we pass each other. Oh, that I had used our time together more wisely, and not wasted it with petty arguments and pranks! Phoebe says that we will still see a lot of each other, but only seeing Arnold at lunch or occasionally on the street is not enough! How am I going to get through the day without being able to stare at his beautifully shaped head, with its golden hair that sticks out in wondrously unruly tufts? Without hearing his calm and reassuring voice, the same voice that haunts my dreams every night? Even though Phoebe knows how strongly I feel about him, she still doesn't understand what I go through every day…"_

Arnold's face was burning from embarrassment, and he knew he was completely red without having to look in a mirror. He had never read anything like that about himself, and he was surprised that someone could feel that way about him. He was glad he read it though, because it gave him another piece to the puzzle: Phoebe.

After checking his watch, Arnold figured that the movie was probably over, so he got up and retrieved his phone from his book bag. After going through his contacts, he found Phoebe's number, and he pushed "enter". The phone rang three times, and on the fourth ring, he heard a high pitched, gentle voice on the other end.

"Hello Arnold, what can I do for you?" Phoebe asked, polite as always.

"Hey Phoebe, I was wondering if you and I could meet sometime…Today, if you don't have anything big planned with Gerald?"Arnold crossed his fingers that she would say "yes", and he almost did a little dance when she said, "Okay. Gerald is taking Timberly and her friends to a concert tonight, so I'm actually free. What time do you want to meet?"

Arnold thought for a second and asked, "Does 7:00 at Corner Café sound good?"

"Sure, I'll see you then!" Phoebe replied, and they both hung up.

Tossing his phone on his desk, Arnold began to pace the floor. According to the diary, Phoebe knew all about Helga's crush, and she could probably answer some of the questions he had. All he had to do was get her to break rule number one of the girl code: Never repeat the secret of your best friend, especially if it's about a boy. Phoebe was a very loyal friend, and he knew it wouldn't be easy to get her to crack, but he thought he knew what he needed to do.

At 6:30 Arnold made his way to the café, and when he arrived he saw that Phoebe was already there and had claimed a table, which was no easy feat on a Saturday night. When she saw him she smiled and waved, and Arnold waved back. He had always liked Phoebe, and he was glad that she and Gerald had finally gotten together.

Arnold made his way through the crowded maze of tables and chairs, and finally sat down at the tiny table. Just as he sat down, a waitress walked up and asked what they would like to drink. Phoebe ordered a green tea latte, and Arnold ordered an iced coffee. When the waitress left, Phoebe asked, "So, is there something you want to talk about?"

"Yeah, as a matter of fact, there is", Arnold replied, feeling a little nervous. On his way to the café he had thought about how he was going to broach the subject, and he decided to take a roundabout approach first.

Phoebe smiled pleasantly and chirped, "Well, we always have such interesting conversations, I can't wait to hear what it is."

"Oh, I bet that's going to change", Arnold thought, but he gave a little smile and said, "I was wondering how Helga was doing? When was the last time you went to visit her?"

By this time their drinks had arrived, and Phoebe nearly choked on hers when she heard Arnold's question. Taking a sip of coffee, Arnold gave her some time to compose herself.

"Helga? Helga is…fine. She really likes the Governor's School, and it looks like she might graduate with honors. I went to see her last month, and she seemed really happy. Why do you want to know about Helga?"

"This is it", Arnold thought to himself, "Don't blow it!" Taking a deep breath, he asked, "What would you say if I said I thought Helga had a crush on me a few years ago?"

Phoebe sat up a little straighter and looked at him warily. "Why, whatever would make you think that?" she asked, trying to look as innocent as possible. Arnold wasn't buying it. "Let's just say I found out from a very reliable source that she did, and I also found out that you knew about it. Would you be willing to talk to me and answer some questions?"

"I don't know what this source is, but it's mistaken. I don't know anything about a crush Helga might have had on you", she replied, but there was very little conviction behind her words. Arnold sighed and pulled the diary out of his book bag, placing it between them on the table. Looking her in the eye he asked, "Do you know what this is?"

Phoebe nervously adjusted her glasses and squeaked, "Oh dear!"

**A/N: **My apologies to anyone who may be upset about me killing off Grandma. It wasn't personal.


	4. Chapter 4

"Where did you get that?" Phoebe asked, not believing her eyes. Arnold told her the story of what happened that afternoon, including the part where he read about her knowledge of Helga's crush. When he finished, Phoebe shook her head disapprovingly.

"I can't believe you would read Helga's diary, Arnold!" she admonished. "Something like that is very personal, and you know she wouldn't want you to read it!"

"Yes, I know all of that, and trust me, I felt really bad for even wanting to do it. I'm kind of glad I did though, because it makes me see her in a new light. Isn't it better that I know her true feelings, instead of thinking she was just a jerk who hated me for no good reason?" Arnold threw up his hands in frustration, and sat back in his chair. This wasn't the conversation he wanted to have, but he knew it was inevitable. Phoebe didn't seem convinced.

"Helga hasn't lived here in three years. Why do you suddenly care about how she feels?"

"That's a good question", Arnold thought. Why did he care? Was there ever a time when he felt attracted to her, and he just didn't realize it? He thought back to all of the times they played baseball together, and to the time Helga invited him, Gerald and Phoebe to the French restaurant. She certainly had a knack for surprising him, and he always knew there was more to her personality than what could be seen on the surface, but did he ever feel attraction? The more he considered the possibility, the more he realized that maybe a small part of him had liked her all along.

"I think I care because I didn't know how I felt until I read about _her_ feelings", Arnold finally replied. "Don't get me wrong, I don't want to run off and get married tomorrow, but I don't want to lose the chance to get to know her and see where things could go, either." He leaned forward and placed his hand on Phoebe's arm. "Please tell me what you know about Helga."

Phoebe gave a sigh of defeat. "Okay, I'll tell you what I know, but if you are only doing this out of curiosity, with no real intentions of talking to Helga, I'll never forgive you!"

Arnold quickly shook his head and said, "No, I would never do that!"

"Good", Phoebe replied, and then she started to think. Where to begin? She had known Helga ever since pre-school, but they hadn't become best friends until they were in the second grade. Helga had always been bossy and domineering, but when they were by themselves she would relax and be a really great friend. They spent many nights sleeping over at each other's house, and while Phoebe enjoyed these times immensely, she was a very light sleeper, and Helga constantly woke her up by talking in her sleep. The first time she heard Helga mention Arnold's name was when they were in the third grade, and at the time she thought it was a onetime occurrence. She quickly found out that it was a regular thing when Helga recited disjointed poetry about him almost every time they were together. Knowing that Helga would be really mad if she said anything, Phoebe kept the midnight poetry slams to herself; but one day when they were in the fourth grade, she slipped up and said "Arnold" instead of using the code word that Helga was using when talking about a "problem" she was having. Helga had seemed surprised, but she didn't address it or correct her, and Phoebe just played along.

Toward the end of the fourth grade, she became more direct when talking about her feelings, and she and Phoebe freely used Arnold's name when they were by themselves. Phoebe had tried to be encouraging, and she had hoped that one day Helga would share her feelings with Arnold, but she didn't push her to do it.

Turning to look out the window, Phoebe propped her chin in her hand and said, "I guess I knew that Helga liked you when we were in the third grade. She tried to keep it to herself, but she would say your name in her sleep. We eventually started talking openly about her crush when we were in fourth grade, and every year after that it seemed to get stronger."

"But why did she act like she hated me? Why was she always giving me a hard time for no reason?" Arnold asked, aggravated by the whole situation. Phoebe tapped the diary with her index finger and said, "I think you already know the answer to that. She was afraid you wouldn't like her back. She also thought people would pick on her because she liked you, so she went out of her way to make it seem like she didn't."

"How did she get so messed up?" Arnold wondered aloud, and was startled when Phoebe gave an uncharacteristic snort.

"Have you met her family?" Phoebe asked sarcastically, while rolling her eyes. "Her mom was a drunk for the first thirteen years of Helga's life, and her dad is a blowhard who always compares her to her older sister! I think it's amazing she's turned out as good as she has!"

He had never thought about it that way. With a home life that dysfunctional, anyone would be bound to have some sort of emotional issue. Wanting to get back to the topic at hand, Arnold cleared his throat and asked, "How does she feel about me now?"

Phoebe looked at Arnold apologetically and said, "I really don't know."

"Oh come on, don't start backing out now!" Arnold exclaimed, and then paused when he noticed the people at the other tables were looking at him. Lowering his voice, he continued. "You mean to tell me that she hasn't mentioned anything about me in the past three years, when I was all she could think about for at least eight?"

Phoebe nodded her head. "Helga had two reasons for applying to the Governor's School. The first, and probably biggest one, was to escape her home life. She was tired of being ignored, and going away to school seemed like the best option. The second reason was her obsession with you. She didn't think you would ever like her back, and she couldn't stand the thought of watching you date other people in high school, so she decided to leave. Before she moved she made me promise that I wouldn't mention you or give her updates on how you were doing, and we've stuck to that rule for three years."

This revelation hit Arnold really hard. He had no idea that he had been the cause of such emotional anguish, and he felt guilty even though he knew he hadn't done anything on purpose.

"If you had to guess, how would you say she feels now?" he asked softly.

"I would say she probably feels the same as she did when she wrote this diary. If she had moved on, she would have eventually brought you up herself, since it wouldn't have caused her pain anymore. However, every time we talk we always steer clear of any topic that might involve you, which is hard considering I'm dating your best friend."

Arnold stared at his now empty coffee cup and pondered his next move. He knew he couldn't have all of this information and do nothing, but he wasn't exactly sure about what he should do. As if seeing his dilemma, Phoebe said, "I'm actually going to Smithville next Friday, since there's a photography exhibit Helga wants to see. You are more than welcome to come with me, if you want."

Arnold looked up excitedly and replied, "Yes! That would be perfect!" He thought about it for another second and asked, "You don't think it will be weird for me to show up out of the blue? I don't want to freak her out too much." He already knew she was going to have a heart attack when she found out about the diary, so he wanted the first part of their meeting to go as smoothly as possible.

Phoebe gave a little smile and said, "I don't think there's a way to get around the weirdness. You'll just have to go to Smithville and do your best to get her to talk to you."

"That probably won't be easy", Arnold muttered, and Phoebe laughed in agreement.

"With Helga, nothing ever is."


	5. Chapter 5

Arnold slowly walked back to the boarding house. His head spun with all of the things Phoebe had told him, and he still couldn't believe he was going to go to Smithville in a week to see Helga; this morning, if anyone would have told him that he was going to start developing feelings for Helga Pataki, he would have laughed in their face. "What a difference a day makes", Arnold mused, kicking an empty soda can down the sidewalk.

When he arrived home, he went up to his room and got ready for bed. It was only 8:30, which was incredibly early for him, but the emotional drain he felt made him very tired, and all he wanted to do was sleep. He lay in bed and tried to concentrate on the mellow jazz coming through the tiny speakers of his earbuds, but his mind kept drifting back to Helga. What was she like after all this time? What would be her reaction to seeing him in her new town? Would she give him a chance to talk to her, or would she shut him down before he was able to explain everything that had happened? With these thoughts swirling through his head, Arnold drifted off into a restless sleep.

~A/H~

There was an annoying buzzing sound in the distance. It pulled at Arnold's consciousness and demanded his attention, even though he could barely open his eyes. It finally dawned on him that the buzzing was his phone, and with a groan he reached over to his bedside table to pick it up. Gerald's name was flashing on the screen, and Arnold lazily hit the "talk" button.

"Hey man, what are you doing? I've tried calling you three times!" Gerald exclaimed.

"What time is it?" Arnold asked groggily, still not able to really focus.

"It's 11:00. Are you already in bed?" Gerald sounded incredulous. Arnold was a notorious night owl, which was why he didn't feel bad about calling so late.

"Yeah, I was tired so I decided to call it a day. What's up? How was the concert?" The more Arnold talked, the more he started to wake up and have coherent thoughts.

"Meh, you know the music Timberly and her friends like. If I don't get 'Brother of the Year' for sitting through two hours of horrible pop, there's no justice in this world…Wait, how did you know I went to a concert tonight?"

Arnold sat up and turned on the lamp beside his bed. "I followed your advice and started reading Helga's diary when I got home from work. I found a passage that said Phoebe knew all about the crush, so I called her and we met for coffee to talk about it. She mentioned you were going to the concert in passing."

"So, you decided to read it after all. That was more or less what I was calling to find out. What did Phoebe have to say?" Gerald made a mental note to talk to her himself the next day.

"She basically said Helga has had a crush on me since at least the third grade, and that she always acted mean to me because she was scared that I wouldn't feel the same way", Arnold replied.

Gerald was silent for a second, and then he said, "You know, I was thinking about it while I was suffering through the concert, and I started remembering certain things from when we were kids, especially when we were in the fourth grade."

"What kind of things?" Arnold asked, really interested to get Gerald's take on the situation.

"Well, it seems to me that she was always doing things to get your attention, and I don't mean just picking fights or calling you names. Remember when you hit her on the head with a baseball, and you had to take care of her until she got her memory back? Or how about the time she dressed up like Lila at Rhonda's costume party? She really seemed to like all of the attention you showed her, which struck me as weird since she supposedly hated you."

Arnold thought back to those events, and now that Gerald mentioned it, he could definitely see how Helga seemed to think of ways to be near him. He never gave it any thought at the time; in most instances he had just been happy she wasn't being mean to him. "I think I see what you're talking about", he mused, and then added, "I'm going with Phoebe to Smithville next Friday."

Gerald let out a low whistle. "You move fast, man. Are you sure you want to get something started with Helga? If I were you I'd just let the past stay where it is."

"I know it sounds crazy, and maybe it's a little impulsive, but I have to do this. I can't live the rest of my life wondering 'what if?'" Arnold replied.

"How are you going to get her to talk to you?" Gerald asked. "If she was too scared to tell you about her feelings before, what makes you think she's going to talk about them now?"

"I don't know Gerald, but I have a week to figure it out", Arnold said, feeling more determined with every passing minute. He was going to go to Smithville, and he wasn't going to leave until he had some answers from Helga, even if it meant finding out she didn't feel anything for him anymore.

Hearing the certainty in his voice, Gerald replied, "You're a bold man, Arnold."


	6. Chapter 6

The next few days passed in a blur for Arnold. Between work and school, he didn't have much time to think about the upcoming trip to Smithville, but he used every second of his free time to come up with a plan. At first he considered asking Phoebe to call Helga and let her know he was coming, since it didn't seem right to ambush her, but he eventually decided against it. If she knew he was coming, she might cancel the whole trip; also, he wanted to see her genuine reaction to his presence, and warning her ahead of time would allow her to build walls around herself before he got there.

As far as what he would do once they were together, he still wasn't sure. Assuming she didn't immediately leave when she saw him (or tell him to, which he could also see happening), Arnold considered whether it would be best to suggest going somewhere to talk right away, or go to the exhibit and spend time together in a group first. Phoebe was bringing Gerald along so it wouldn't be awkward if Arnold and Helga didn't end up going to the exhibit, plus having four people instead of three would help safeguard against awkward silences if they all hung out for a while. As far as knowing when to have "the talk", however, Arnold was at a loss. He figured he would probably have to play it by ear, even though he never liked doing things that way.

Friday afternoon finally came, and Arnold was more nervous than he had ever been in his entire life. He was putting his books into his locker and getting ready to leave when he heard a familiar voice behind him.

"Hello Arnold. How are you doing?" Lila inquired. She was smiling and wearing her cheerleading uniform. Arnold smiled back and closed his locker. Lila was as beautiful as ever, and she looked like she was born to be a cheerleader. A few weeks ago, he might have kicked himself for breaking up with her, but now her presence didn't have quite the same effect. While he would always find her attractive, and would always appreciate her friendship, he knew she wasn't the one for him.

"I'm fine Lila, how are you?" he asked, as he started moving toward the door. Lila fell in step and replied, "I'm fine. I was wondering if you were going to the game tonight?"

"Actually, I'm going to Smithville with Gerald and Phoebe", he said, and he could see the confusion on Lila's face.

"What's in Smithville?" she asked, mildly curious. Arnold wondered how much he should tell her, and decided to just stick with the basics.

"Phoebe wants to go to a photography exhibit, and we are going to be meeting up with Helga while we're there", he finally replied.

Lila smiled and said, "Oh, you're going to see Helga? Well, I know she'll enjoy that, since she's always liked you."

Arnold stopped walking and stared at Lila. "Are you kidding? Did everyone know about her crush except me?" he exclaimed, unable to believe what he just heard. Lila laughed and touched his shoulder.

"Please don't be mad! I found out she liked you when we were in the fourth grade and working on the play _Romeo and Juliette_. She really wanted to be Juliette because she wanted to kiss you, and I told her the only way she could have the part was if she said she liked you. After she said it, she made me promise I would never tell, so I never did."

"So why are you telling me now?" Arnold asked. Lila shrugged and said, "I guess I don't see the point in keeping it a secret anymore. It was a long time ago, and I'm sure she's forgotten about it by now."

"Yeah, you're probably right", Arnold replied, and started walking again. He didn't want to get into a conversation about his real reason for going to Smithville, so he played it off as much as he could. Lila continued walking with him, and they made it all the way to the bus stop before she broke the silence.

"Craig asked me out for tomorrow night, and I said 'yes'. I just thought you should know."

Craig was the quarterback for the football team, and was a really nice guy. He didn't seem to have the god-complex that a lot of the athletes had, and he did pretty well in his classes too. After the natural surge of jealousy passed, Arnold realized he was actually happy for her.

"Thanks for telling me, Lila", Arnold said. "Craig is a good guy. I'm happy for you."

Lila smiled at his response, and she leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. "Thank you for being so nice about this. I know it seems a little soon after our break up."

"Not at all! We have to move on sometime, right?"

"Right", Lila answered, and then she started to walk away. She turned around after a few steps and added, "Have fun tonight with Helga. If I had to be perfectly honest, I've always had a feeling about you two."

Arnold watched her leave until she disappeared around the corner. He didn't know if Lila was right, but he sure hoped she was.

Arnold made it to the central bus station before Gerald and Phoebe, so he bought a round trip ticket to Smithville and sat on a bench to wait for his friends. After a few minutes they arrived, and when they bought their tickets, they went to the platform and waited for the bus. Gerald looked at Arnold and asked, "So, how are you feeling man? Ready to face a teenaged Helga Pataki?"

Arnold gave him a nervous grin and said, "As ready as I'll ever be."

"Honestly, you two! You act like she's some sort of monster!" Phoebe scolded, rolling her eyes. "I don't know what I need to do to get you to see she isn't that bad!"

"That's easy for you to say; you've seen a lot more of her good side than we have", Gerald replied, putting his arm around her waist. "Remember, all we've ever experienced was her bullying when we were kids."

Phoebe sighed and leaned her head on his shoulder. "I hope tonight will change all of that."

The bus pulled up to the platform, and everyone started boarding and taking their seats. Thinking about what Phoebe said, Arnold thought, "Me too."

He stared out the window for the entire trip, gazing at the scenery as it changed from city to country, and back to city again. Smithville wasn't as big as Hillwood, but it was older, and the buildings had more of a classic look. Brownstones lined the streets, and the centerpiece of the city was the large library. With its huge columns of white marble, Arnold was reminded of the temples of Greece, and the book worm in him longed to go inside and peruse the shelves.

"If Helga and I hit it off, maybe we can do that someday", he mused to himself. The bus finally made its way to the bus station, and he and his friends disembarked and walked to the main exit. They stopped just outside the station and turned to face each other.

"I called Helga and told her to meet me at the museum where the exhibit is going to be", Phoebe informed them. She had been to Smithville many times, and she knew her way around pretty well. She wasn't sure what Helga would do when she saw Arnold at the exhibit, but she figured there was less of a chance of her backing out if she was actually at the museum, and not at the bus station. Phoebe hated to admit it, but she was getting really excited at the idea of seeing Helga's reaction, and she hoped the night would end happily for her two friends. She turned and started leading the way toward the museum.

Gerald hung back so he could talk to Arnold. "So, do you know what you're going to say to her?" Arnold shook his head. "I guess I'll have to wait and see what her reaction is first. If she wants to hang out with the three of us, we'll have to stick to small talk until the exhibit is over."

"Yeah, I thought about that too. I've already talked to Phoebe, and we've decided to bail out early from the exhibit so the two of you can go somewhere and talk," Gerald told him, and gave Arnold's arm a suggestive punch. Arnold laughed and punched him back.

"Thanks Gerald. You're a great friend."

"I've always got your back, man."

When they reached the museum, Phoebe looked at her watch. "We're fifteen minutes early, so we can either wait here or go to the café across the street."

Arnold thought about it for a second and replied, "Actually, I don't think I'll be able to just sit down and wait, so I'll take a walk and come back in a few minutes." Gerald and Phoebe looked knowingly at each other, and Gerald said, "That's fine. We'll meet you at the door so we can all go in together."

Giving a quick nod in agreement, Arnold turned and made his way down the street, looking at the different buildings as he passed them. There was a flower shop that had recently gone out of business, and a music school that offered piano and violin lessons. Next to it was a clothing boutique with the unfortunately worded sign, "This week our shirts are half off!" Arnold snickered to himself and kept walking, not noticing the person coming around the corner until they collided. They hit each other so hard they both fell backward, and Arnold had to grab onto the wall of the building next to him to keep himself upright. The other person wasn't so lucky, and they hit the sidewalk with a thud.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorr-"

"Watch where you're go-"

Both speakers stopped talking when they saw each other. Arnold was frozen in place, half bent over and holding out his hand to help the person up. The person on the ground just sat there, looking up at him as if they had seen a ghost. Wide-eyed and breathing hard, Helga gasped out, "Arnold!"


	7. Chapter 7

Arnold stared at the girl in front of him. In the three years since he'd last seen her, Helga had grown. A lot. Her hair now hung halfway down her back, and she wore it loose, without any hairclips or ribbons. She still had a petite frame, but she had filled out in all the right places, and it was evident she had a nice figure. Her sense of style was still girly, but functional: a light pink hoodie over a white t-shirt, and boot cut blue jeans over black Chucks. The only make up she wore was some neutral eye shadow and light pink lip gloss. Swallowing hard, Arnold reached down and grabbed her hand, pulling her back on her feet. By now she had seemed to recover, and she had schooled her face into a neutral expression. Reaching down to brush off the back of her jeans, she asked, "What are you doing here, Arnold?"

His mind going in ten directions at once, all he could do was look at her in response. When he realized she had asked a question, he snapped out of it and replied, "I'm here to see the photography exhibit."

Helga looked surprised and said, "I didn't know they advertised it all the way in Hillwood."

"They didn't. Phoebe told me about it", he answered, and then he gestured toward the direction of the museum. "Are you headed that way now?"

Reaching down to pick up the black messenger bag she had dropped when she fell, Helga said, "Yeah, the exhibit is going to start in five minutes."

Arnold gave a tentative smile and asked, "Mind if I walk with you?"

Helga just shrugged and acted nonchalant. "May as well, since we're going to the same place."

They began walking in awkward silence, neither one of them knowing what to say. Finally Arnold couldn't take it anymore and asked, "So, how do you like the Governor's School?" To himself he thought, "Small talk is better than nothing."

"It's great", she answered. "I like living in the dorms, and I've made a lot of new friends. How are things going for you?"

"They're going well. I was accepted to State, so now I'm just trying to save up some money to help out with the scholarships I've gotten."

"Oh? Congratulations", Helga said, looking straight ahead and avoiding eye contact. "I'm not sure where I'm going to go."

By now they had reached the museum, and they could see Gerald and Phoebe waiting out front. Helga seemed relieved to see her friend, and she picked up her pace a little bit. Arnold sighed and followed along, not very happy with how things were going. While he was glad she hadn't freaked out or asked him to leave, he could tell that it was going to take a lot of work to get her to really open up and start talking to him. She hadn't even looked him in the eye since they first saw each other.

When they joined their friends Helga said, "Hey Pheebs, hey Gerald. How's it going?"

Phoebe looked at Arnold and then back at Helga. She didn't know how they had met, but they didn't seem to be at each other's throats, so that was a good sign. Helga was obviously nervous though, so Phoebe tried her best to act natural and put her at ease. With a smile she replied, "Great! I can't wait to see the exhibit!"

"Yeah", Helga agreed, looping her arm around Phoebe's and walking toward the entrance, "I hear it's going to be really interesting."

When they made their way past the security guard and into the museum, Helga turned to Gerald and Arnold and said, "Could you please excuse us? Phoebe and I need to go the bathroom." Without waiting for an answer, Helga dragged her best friend down the hall to the ladies room. Arnold looked at Gerald and said, "Pray for Phoebe."

~A/H~

As soon as the bathroom door was closed, Helga began her inquest. "WHAT the HECK is going on here?" she cried, looking at Phoebe for answers. When she had literally run into Arnold on the street, she had been convinced she was seeing things. She then figured it was just a coincidence, until he mentioned being there for the exhibit. Finding out that Phoebe, of all people, had been the one to tell him about it was unfathomable, since Phoebe knew that was against the one rule she had made when she moved. Helga tapped her foot impatiently, waiting for her friend's reply.

Phoebe looked at her innocently and said, "What are you talking about?" But when she saw the death glare that Helga was giving her, she dropped the act. "When I mentioned to Arnold that I was going to a photography exhibit this weekend, he asked if he could come." It wasn't an outright lie, since that _was_ how it happened, and Phoebe hoped Helga would buy it. She wasn't that lucky though.

"Why didn't you say 'no'?" Helga demanded.

"Yes, you're right, I should have said 'no'. And when he asked why not, I should have said, 'Because Helga's had a crush on you practically since birth and doesn't want to see you anymore.' That would have been a much better response."

Helga was somewhat taken aback by Phoebe's sarcasm, and she backed off a little bit. She walked over to the counter and looked into the mirror. She knew she had improved some since middle school, but she could never see herself as anything but the awkward little girl who had to bully people to make up for her own insecurities. When she moved to her new school, she did her best to leave the old Helga behind and start a new life, and for the most part, she had been successful. She wasn't lying when she told Arnold she had made a lot of friends; the girls in the dorm loved to hang out with her, and she had even been on a few dates with some of the guys from her class. She didn't feel a connection with any of them though, and therefore she remained single without becoming attached to any one person. She tried not to think about why she never felt a connection, but deep down, she knew. Finally, she turned around and looked at Phoebe.

"What am I going to do? I haven't talked to Arnold in three years, and yet when I see him I still feel like I did when we were kids!"

Phoebe walked over to her and put a reassuring hand on Helga's arm. "Why don't you just go out there and try to talk to him? He knew you would be here, and he still wanted to come. Doesn't that mean something to you?"

"I don't know Pheebs. I've never been very good at talking to Arnold. My defenses start coming up and I always end up saying something mean just to keep him away. The only time we've ever had a decent conversation was when I was pretending to be someone else."

"How do you know you can't do that again? Why just assume things are going to go badly? You should try being more positive for a change", Phoebe gently advised.

Helga looked down at the floor and then back at Phoebe. "Just tell me one thing: Is he seeing anyone?"

Phoebe smiled and shook her head. "No, he's perfectly, absolutely single."

Giving a sigh of relief, Helga turned and headed toward the door. "I guess we better get back out there. They probably think we've fallen in or something", she said, and she walked out of the bathroom.

Phoebe took a deep breath and crossed her fingers, hoping that she had done the right thing.

~A/H~

"Well, I don't hear any screams or crashes, so I'm guessing everything's still okay", Arnold said, looking at his watch. Helga and Phoebe had been in the bathroom for ten minutes, and the museum lobby was starting to fill up with people who were there for the exhibit. Gerald turned away from a sculpture he was trying to figure out and replied, "If they don't come out in another minute, I'm going in after them."

As soon as he said this, the door to the bathroom opened, and Helga stepped out into the hall. Arnold still couldn't get over how good she looked, and he really hoped the night was going to be a success.

After scanning the crowd, Helga and Phoebe saw them standing across the lobby, and they made their way toward them. When they arrived Phoebe took Gerald's hand and said, "Come on. It looks like the exhibit starts in the room on the left." They all started walking toward the entryway, with Phoebe and Gerald in front, and Arnold and Helga bringing up the rear. Arnold cleared his throat and said, "So, you like photography?"

"Yeah, I do. I like black and white the best, and I think I prefer cityscapes to landscapes. What about you?"

"I prefer color, but I can appreciate black and white if it's done right."

They stopped in front of the first picture. The subject was a girl who was in mid-jump, which gave the impression that she was levitating. There was a plain white wall behind her, but on the floor were old drop cloths used for painting. A little card was attached to the wall underneath the picture, and on it was the word, "Illumination".

"Where do they come up with these titles?" Helga asked, shaking her head.

"_The Pretentious Artist's Handbook_ probably", Arnold answered, and Helga gave a little laugh. "You're probably right", she said, and moved on to the next picture.

This one was a series of black and white shots of a city skyline. The top shot was obviously from many years ago, judging by the architecture and the small number of buildings. The next shot was from a few years later, and there were a few more buildings added to the scene. The final shot was from the past year, and this time the skyline was completely crowded with buildings and other structures. The title underneath it was "Progress".

"At least this title makes sense", Arnold said, while appreciating the beauty of the picture. Helga seemed lost in thought, and at first he thought she didn't hear him, but she eventually said, "Yeah", and moved away. He thought she was going to look at another picture, and he was surprised when she started walking toward the exit. He followed her, and when he caught up to her he gently grabbed her arm.

"Helga, what is it? Is something wrong?" he asked, looking concerned. Helga looked as if she wanted to run away, but she took a deep breath and said, "I'm fine, I just want to get some fresh air. Do you want to go for a walk?"

"Sure!" Arnold answered, relieved that she wasn't pushing him away. "Let me find Gerald and Phoebe so they'll know where we're going, and then I'll meet you outside."

"Okay", Helga replied, and she turned and slipped out the door. Arnold looked around the room until he found his friends, and he told them that he and Helga were leaving.

"I'll be sure to meet you back at the bus station", Arnold said, and turned to leave the museum.

"Good luck!" Gerald called, and this time, he really meant it.


	8. Chapter 8

When Arnold left the museum, he saw Helga standing on the sidewalk out front. She still looked a little uncomfortable, but he could tell she was trying her best to seem relaxed. He walked over to her and asked, "So, where do you want to go?"

"There's a park near here that's really nice, so we could go there if you'd like", she answered. Arnold smiled and said, "That sounds great."

Helga began leading the way, and both of them were quiet for a while. The night was warm, but there was a cool breeze blowing, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. When Arnold looked up he could see the stars, and he noticed that the moon was full. "Wow, looks like the setting is almost perfect", he thought, glancing over at Helga. She still seemed to be thinking, and she was studying the pavement as they walked. She indicated that they needed to make a right, and when they did, he saw the park.

It wasn't very big, maybe two blocks wide at most, but it was very neat and clean, and there were benches along the different paths that ran throughout. Helga led them over to a bench in the middle of the park, and sat down. From where they were sitting they could see the big library, and they also had a good view of the moon.

Helga finally broke the silence and said, "It feels so weird to see you in Smithville."

Arnold didn't know how he should take that statement, so he asked, "Why? Do you wish I wasn't here?"

"Oh no, nothing like that! I just meant that I've come to think of my life here and my life in Hillwood as separate lives, and it's strange to have the old and the new mix together. That's all."

Leaning back on the bench, Arnold replied, "Yeah, I can understand that. If you don't mind me asking though, why don't you ever come back to Hillwood? I haven't seen you since the summer before we started high school, and I never hear about you coming to visit, not even for holidays."

Helga shifted her position a little bit and said, "Well…I'm really busy with school, that's the biggest reason. The Governor's School is very intense, and a lot of our classes are college level. I spend most of the minor holidays studying and working on projects, but I have come back for some of the major ones."

Arnold looked surprised and asked, "Why haven't I seen you then?" Even though he had never gone out of his way to look for Helga, he thought they would have crossed paths every now and then, but that wasn't the case.

Helga looked a little panicked at first, as if she was coming up with a good answer, and she finally said, "Um, well, the only person I keep up with in Hillwood is Phoebe, so she's the only person I go out of my way to see."

"Oh", Arnold answered. He waited for a couple of seconds before adding, "You are always welcome to come see me."

At a loss for words, Helga just sat there for a minute and then said, "Thanks, but I didn't think we were friends when I left."

This was the opening Arnold was waiting for. His pulse was starting to get a little faster, and he tried his best to keep his nerves under control. He turned to look straight at Helga and said, "I always wanted to be friends with you, but you never seemed to want anything to do with me. Why was that?" Even though he knew the answer, he wanted to see what excuse she would come up with.

Helga seemed to get a little defensive. She sat up straighter and crossed her arms over her chest, staring ahead at the library instead of looking at him. There was an edge to her voice when she replied, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Arnold rolled his eyes; so they were going to play that game. He wasn't about to let her off the hook though. "It seems to me that you went out of your way to give me a hard time, like calling me 'Football Head', pulling pranks and starting arguments", he reminded her.

She waved a dismissive hand and said, "I picked on a lot of people back then. There was nothing special about you."

Arnold was getting really mad by now, and he had to fight to keep his temper in check. Taking a deep breath he said, "I think you and I both know that's not true." He saw a look of confusion and then fear sweep across Helga's face before she turned to him and asked, "What are you talking about?"

"This", Arnold replied, and he opened his bag and pulled out the diary. When he held it out to her she simply looked at it like she didn't know what it was, and after a few seconds he laid it on her lap.

"How did you get that?" Helga whispered, turning white. She still refused to touch it, like she thought it would burn her if she did. When he didn't answer fast enough she shouted, "Tell me!"

"I work in a used book store, and your dad brought in a bunch of your books to sell. He included the diary by mistake, and I read the first page since I didn't know what it was", Arnold quickly replied, hoping she would calm down.

Helga was shaking a little, and she still looked pale when she asked, "So you only read the first page?"

Arnold looked at his sneakers and replied, "No, I read more than that when I got home."

Helga jumped off the bench and stood in front of him. "How could you do that? I can forgive reading the first page, but reading more when you knew it was my diary? What kind of jerk are you?" Without waiting for his response, she turned and started running from the park.

Arnold was able to catch up to her on the street, and he grabbed her arm and swung her around to face him. "No!" he exclaimed, still holding on to her. "You aren't going to call me names and run away from me like you always do! For once in your life, you're going to talk about how you feel!" Moving his hand from her upper arm to her wrist, he led her to a bench just inside the park. "Sit down", he commanded, and to his surprise, she actually did.

"Now, I want you to listen to me without interrupting, and when I'm finished you can say whatever you want, got it?"

Helga was still upset, but she gave a tight nod and stared past him, looking as if she was plotting his death with every passing second. Arnold gave himself some time to calm down before he started talking again.

"I know it was wrong to read your diary, and I apologize for doing it. It was a huge invasion of privacy, and I know how embarrassed you must be. That being said, I'm also glad that I read it, because it allowed me to get to know you better. I got to see what you're really like, and it also made me realize how I felt about you! Do you really think I came all the way to Smithville to see an art exhibit when I can see one every day in Hillwood? No! I came here tonight so I could see you and find out if you still feel the way you felt when you wrote this diary!"

Hastily wiping a tear away, Helga looked up at Arnold and said, "You expect me to believe a diary from five years ago made you start to have feelings for me?"

Arnold sat down beside her and held her hand. Looking her in the eye he replied, "No, it wasn't just the diary. When I thought back to the different times we were together, I could pick out a few good memories from the bad ones. I've always thought there was more to you than you let on, and there were times when I really liked you, when you were being nice. After reading your diary and discovering how you felt about me, and why you acted the way you did, all of the bad experiences we had started to make sense."

Helga gave a weary laugh. "So here we are. Now what? I live almost an hour away, and next year we're both going off to college. Not exactly the opportune time to begin a relationship."

Arnold gave her hand a squeeze and said, "Helga, I would make any situation work if you would be willing to let me."

"How can I say no to an offer like that?" she asked, and to Arnold's amazement, she leaned over and kissed him. The kiss was a little awkward at first, since he wasn't expecting it, but Helga's passion quickly ignited his, and he wrapped his arms around her to pull her closer. By the time they pulled apart, they were both breathless.

"Does this mean you've forgiven me for reading your diary?" Arnold asked playfully.

"No, you're still in the dog house for that one, and Bob is going to get a piece of my mind too, the next time I call home", Helga said. She looked at him adoringly and added, "I should probably thank him while I'm at it, since none of this would have happened without his boneheaded help."

Arnold just smiled and kissed her again.

**A/N: **Well boys and girls, that's it! I hope you liked my story, and a big "thank you" to everyone who reviewed and favorited. You guys are great!


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